I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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