I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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