Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
