Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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