dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
