Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
