saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
