I wannas sexs uuuuu
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
As shirtless as possible
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
