Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I party with great urgency now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
