You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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