it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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