? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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