He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
