Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am naked and annoyed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
