Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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