I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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