I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
