How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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