Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
