TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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