erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize