Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
