wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.