just tell him i said nine months
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.