Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.