Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste