Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I am naked and annoyed.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.