# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
