the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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