yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
