Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
