my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Congratulations! We have a period
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize