did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
