brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
