I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
