i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
