Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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