Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
