dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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