There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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