did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
