I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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