When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
