another moral hangover. fuck.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
