We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Holy shit dude........stairs
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
