My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
