i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
