im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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