You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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