I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
someone threw a dead crab at me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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