I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
