When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
