that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize