I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
