Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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