scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
