Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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