Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
