My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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