i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
