operation have a gay friend backfired
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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