So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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