He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What a dumb baby whore.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
