how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
