your room smells of hookers.
And success
I bet he comes in French.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
