Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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